Susato Mikotoba 🌸 御琴羽 寿沙都 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm
judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm
judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pmEntry tags:
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![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm
judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm 
 
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I'm a prince, raised to be a king since I was young, but everyone knew that I wouldn't ever get that chance normally. So, I thought I'd make my own path to succession, even if it wasn't my own kingdom.
[It's as simple as that, without getting too much into the details. Hans tits his head at her, almost as if he's gauging her reaction, but it's mostly for show.]
Or did you want to hear a different answer, Susato? To make you feel less betrayed by my comments?
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I would rather hear that you regret what you did. That you've changed.
...But I don't expect you to insult me by saying so now.
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[Hans cuts himself short, however, his placid smile disappearing before this charade goes any further. He won't insult her by doing that and it's not worth that effort.]
...Would you believe me if I said I've tried feeling regret for what happened? But the most I can manifest is regretting that I didn't succeed. [Hans doesn't look especially proud by that admission, a small exhale leaving him as he draws his eyes elsewhere.]
Or sometimes I think about how I could've chosen a different goal. Living life here, where it's been mundane, hasn't been terrible.
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You would not be the first to change their goals because of this place. Perhaps... that's a line of thinking you should follow.
[ There is a pause as Susato allows those words to hang in the air... ]
What would you have chosen?
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Who knows? Maybe I would've taken a ship to a faraway country, living a life entirely separate from what my family wanted of me.
[Maybe it'd be a 'screw you' to them, but it's just as likely that they wouldn't care. Be relieved, even. Why give them that satisfaction?]
But maybe I'd regret it within a few days, and that I really should've tried again to find a kingdom to take over. Except with far less mistakes on my end.
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It isn't fair. ]
Did you ever face justice?
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Are you wondering if I was executed for my crimes, Lady Susato?
[Hans nearly stares straight at her, waiting and wanting to see her reaction to this possible piece of information. Many would probably think he'd deserve it, but he wants to know what she thinks.]
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Yes? ]
Well... I can't claim to know your laws, but they can't have looked too kindly upon your actions either. Even if things did work out amiably.
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I apologize, maybe I should've worded my question slightly different. Do you hope that I was executed?
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Do you want to hear me say 'yes'?
...To show me that I am capable of the same darkness? That those demons also sleep within me?
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Nothing of that sort. I'd never assume you hold such demons within you. [Unless she wants to confess something now--] I just want to hear your honest opinion.
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[ There isn't a part of her that believes he cares about her honest opinion. This should be easy to answer, but still, she hesitates. It is truly against her nature to wish death outright upon someone, least of all someone so deceptively charistmatic. There is still a part of her that hopes he will eventually learn from his failures.
But he asked for honesty. ]
Maybe there is a part of me that thinks your world would be a better place if you were. But those demons will not win, and neither will you.
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Well, I'm here to bring you good news, Lady Susato.
I was caught by everyone and sent back home to face punishment. And that punishment? Well, even I don't know! Maybe my father will execute me by his own hand or maybe he just wouldn't even care.
[That last bit is a lie, because his father would definitely care, only if because he soured the reputation of the Southern Isles. Hans doesn't find himself caring all that much, since he was never going to become king there.]
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I think you care very deeply about what he might think.
[ Her tone may be accusatory. ]
Is that why kingship mattered so much? Simply because it's what was expected of you?
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But even then, he's not sure. Maybe it's not even worth considering, since that time may have very well passed for him back home.]
You know, Ferran asked me a similar question while we were in the dream. [Just going to get Ferran involved with this, why not.] I believe that the most simple answer may be 'yes,' in the end. Or I just wanted power for myself, you can choose.
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Faces blur together when she thinks back. Even if he had been, she wouldn't remember now, though she'd like to think that memory wouldn't fade easily. Her brow visibly furrows at the thought, and at his dismissive answer. It's not on her to decide something like that. ]
What did he ask exactly? Did you give him the most simple answer, too?
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[Well, almost the same answer, similar enough that Hans doesn't think it necessary to bring up what he really said to Ferran. Besides, he doesn't want to repeat everything he said to him, as some bits are somewhat personal to him. There's no need to bother Susato with those things either.
Hans gives his most believable apologetic expression to her, but it's probably obvious that he doesn't mean it at all.]
If it helps, he was as equally disappointed in my answer as you are.
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He thought better of you, I suppose. But he has his own demons, too.
[ Don't they all? But they're not here to talk about those. ]
I hope you enjoy the freedom Songerein has efforded you, in any case. May you find another path that doesn't have to be paved with blood.
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Do you plan to personally stop me if I decided to stick with my initial path? Are you going to tell everyone what I'm really like?
[Maybe he shouldn't encourage her, but Hans can't help it. When he's not trying to make people comfortable around him, he just likes to push people's buttons.]
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Now it makes sense. The reason he reached out to her to begin with. Everything clicks. Susato looks warily at him and shakes her head, though whether she's saying 'no' or just continually disappointed, it isn't immediately obvious. ]
There is nothing to stop as of yet. I don't wish to spread panic over nothing, not when you've committed no crimes to speak of against the people here.
But know that I will not lie for you. And I won't protect you.
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Don't worry, I wouldn't put such pressure on someone as morally upright as you to protect someone like me.
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tright isn't the insult (to her) that he thinks it is. Or... maybe she's just taking it that way, given what she's learned about him. She doesn't wish to escalate things unnecessarily, so with the surrendering gesture of his hands, she feels like she can relent. ]Then, is there anything else that I should know?
...About you, or the Southern Isles you call home?
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Okay, he might have some things to say, but he's not going to get into it. Hans pulls his arms behind his back and leans forward just slightly, smiling all the same.]
What is there to learn? Don't tell me that you're still curious about the prince that tried to murder a queen.
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What else is there to learn? Probably plenty. Shouldn't she at least try to understand, to try to keep a repeat attempt from happening? Yet her mind goes blank. ]
I know that's not all there is to you. No... I have to believe that it isn't. But if that's all you're willing to share... then I have plenty to think about already.
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[He straightens himself, that placid smile still adorning his face, even though it's clear that he's intending to leave Susato with her possibly troubling thoughts. Hans knows that she'll be fine though, she's pretty strong. He can say that with relative certainty.
I'm sure I burdened you enough for today. I don't wish to trouble you more than I already have, Lady Susato.
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