[ Taking one last look around, Susato follows Beatrix when she gestures, like an obedient assistant. It's not the only reason she's here; she is also here for Beatrix's sake, though she wonders for a moment if the General took that poorly. ]
...It's difficult.
[ She admits, speaking softly. ]
But focusing on the task has kept me from losing heart myself, so I suppose she got her wish, in a way. [ That's deserving of a smile, isn't it? Susato tries, at any rate. See, Ori...?
[She waits patiently, letting Susato go first and only when she has does Beatrix shut the door to her treehouse.
'Difficult' is a good way to put it. It certainly feels like a monumental task. Hard to work through. Hard to understand. Hard to piece together. Hard to work through. Hard, when one may be afraid that they may not meet those expectations. Oriphi may not be here in the flesh any longer, but it certainly feels as if she is.
Perhaps that is merely the weight of expectation.]
That is an interesting way to put it. Not that I feel Oriphi was cunning enough to plan it that way. It is likely an unintended side effect. Yet an effective one all the same. I suppose that may hold true for many of us and the requests that she made of us.
[ Susato gives a quiet nod as they walk, and goes out of her way to remain behind Beatrix. It is humbling to realize the same could happen to any one of them at any moment. Such is why Eustace's quest to stay here permanently is so important to many, though Susato herself is still unable to abandon her homeland completely.
She bites at her lip, feeling like Beatrix has opened a door with the mention of those requests. ]
[Beatrix doesn't respond immediately, though it doesn't seem because she has no intention to do so. On the contrary, she's simply thinking about how she wants to reply. In the end, she decides that simple and straight forward is the best way to address it, regardless of her feelings on the matter.]
She asked that I protect the rest of you. I think... she always wanted to learn better how to protect us. Not that she could not already. I think she just wanted to improve. You know, she asked me before she left to train her with my sword, so I made her a replica of it and we practised together.
[Beatrix settles on that for some moments, shaking her head.]
I always thought she was too delicate to wield such a thing. I underestimated her a lot. As I do with most of the people here.
It is as fervent a wish for Susato as it had been for Ori. It must have been, otherwise her charms would never work. Thinking about it, she feels a dull ache in her arm; remnants of a scar that appeared after her nightmare the month previous. ]
Even if it was short-lived, I am glad you got to train together. There was still a lot I didn't know about her that I would have liked to learn... Many days, it feels we have all the time in the world here.
Just because it's true. Just because it is, for the circumstance, the right thing to say. Doesn't mean she should say it.
Beatrix may not outwardly hesitate, but her insides turn and twist. She knows it, of course. She has thought it many a time since she's been here. Maybe the reason it's so hard for her to handle is because it took a damn year for it to occur. That's a year of learning about someone. A year of doing things with them. A year of sharing one's self with another, even in a strange and somewhat roundabout way.
A year is a long time. Come to think of it, before coming here, Beatrix realises that a year has never felt as long.]
That it certainly is. [She finds herself agreeing quietly.] I suspect we have all thought it before, but in the face of such discoveries, it is important to remind ourselves to covet the time we have here with those whilst we can. It would be better to assume that the day we are aware of could very well be our last.
[After all, there is no guarantee that Eustace's plan will work, as much as Beatrix craves and desires that so.]
[ Beatrix certainly does not give away much. Her expression is as icy and collected as ever, though by now, Susato is able to recognize some of the turbulence within.
A year is a long time. ]
You may be right. But...I don't know that I could live that way.
[ ...There's a pause. She does not mean to be contradictory, so she clarifies, ]
Well... I think I cling too much to routine, at least. I take comfort in what I am used to. But life in Reverein has taught me to be a little spontaneous, if nothing else.
[Beatrix nods slowly. Not because she agrees. She doesn't. She is more likely to have agreed with the Susato from original world. She has disliked very much not having a routine. Despite trying to create one for herself here, it just hasn't been the same. Doesn't feel the same. Still leaves her feeling like she's not quite comfortable. Like she never will be comfortable.
She'd love to say she's grown an appreciation for the spontaneous, but that would be false.]
I think it is probable that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own way of handling such a thing. We need not all be alike in such respects.
[Or in any. She has come to rather appreciate their differences.]
[ In her defense, she never said that this lesson in being spontaneous was a good thing. As someone younger, perhaps she can appreciate more than someone like Beatrix, who seems rather set in her ways already. Either way, she doesn't appear to fault the woman for it.
Susato remains respectfully quiet, simply following without truly knowing their destination. ]
We can use our differences to keep learning from one another. Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful.
["Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful."
It hurts to do so, but Beatrix is capable of smiling just a touch as she replays those words back to herself. Looking sidelong to her companion, who is, in many ways, akin to what it must be like to have a younger sibling, Beatrix seems respectfully thoughtful.]
That is quite the poetic way to put it. I do believe I am inclined to agree. Wildflowers of a kind. All different. All varied. Each with its purpose. Each with its meaning. Although I must confess that I do not know much about flowers, really. I should think Oriphi would be in vast support of such sentiments.
[Loosing a breath, she seems to release some of the tension with it.]
As would the others. I could not have put it more better myself, though speaking never has been my forte. Better to leave such things to those with more amicability and personable demeanours.
[ It is not as if Susato is well-versed in flowers either, but she's picked up on a few things. Perhaps it is just wishful thinking, but Susato can't help but feel like Ori would be proud of them both, and she has to hold onto that feeling during the times when she feels the tiefling's loss the most. ]
For what it is worth, I think you are doing just fine.
[ There is a pause. After thinking about it for a moment longer, Susato lifts a hand and places on Beatrix's shoulder in a supportive gesture. ]
How would like to visit her grove with me today? [ No speaking required. ]
[Beatrix cannot help thinking that Susato may be a touch biased. Such is the way with friends, is it not? It is not that those close to her may be blind to her faults, but perhaps more gentle and accepting of them because they know her better. Or rather, they know the Beatrix that lingers under her often prickly exterior.
She chooses not to protest. Susato will see things as she sees them and there is value in that understanding.
Her proposal is... bittersweet. Or maybe that's just the natural state of Beatrix, all things considered. She peers sidelong to Susato with some thought and after a moment, a beat, a breath, she nods.]
A fine idea. I imagine I could afford to spend more time there. Perhaps we will find ourselves strengthened in spirit and resilience.
[An interesting observation. Does one feel that less because they are healing? What does that say about Beatrix, who doesn't feel as if she's really healed much, if at all? She will likely stew in those thoughts longer than she ought to. Yet that is hardly any different than she has ever been.
She nods slowly.]
I imagine we have all gone to visit multiple times since we discovered that she was gone. But to not go would be a disservice to her person. And to her memory. We are all tied together, after all.
[ They are ever healing, but she thinks she feels less drawn to it because she received Ori's message. Her letter. She smiles at the thought, knowing that she would carry that message with her for the rest of her days. ]
It was you who planted the roses, correct?
...I should do something special for them as well. [ But what? ]
[Was it so obvious? Perhaps so. Seems like just about anything to do with a rose would have something to do with her, after all. Beatrix can’t even be completely surprised that Susato is so sharp as to come to that conclusion.
Instead of trying to deny it or otherwise pretend that such a thing doesn’t exist, she simply says nothing at first. Eventually, her expression softens and she nods.]
That is the way of it. [She admits with a relative degree of ease.] I thought it would be an appropriate way to tie myself to the two of them. They will not know it, of course, so I imagine I did it more for myself. I expect that eventually all of us will do something akin to that. If we care to.
[After a breath, Beatrix continues.]
Again, we all cope in our own ways. You should do as your heart beckons you to, Susato.
[ Susato looks thoughtful. It is not the first time she has been told to do as her heart beckons, of course, but it can be difficult to know exactly what that entails. An appropriate way to tie herself to them...
... ]
Perhaps... I could respond to the letter.
[ Maybe one day, she'll be back to respond to it? ]
I think that is a fine idea. I should like to believe that even if they would not see it, surely wherever they are, in whatever respective world they came from, they might very well know. Who is to say that those returning to their homes do not dream of their escapades here or those they met here.
[It’s not as though they’ve ever been able to ask anyone. There’s nothing saying they can’t or won’t. Perhaps it would sound a bit optimistic coming from someone like Beatrix, but she seems willing to invest in such an idea.
It’s certainly more palatable as opposed to coming to terms with all of that time wasted and for naught.]
You could even leave it in the grove. That, to me, seems like where it would belong.
The idea is a comforting one. Susato is supposed to be the one comforting Beatrix, and making sure she does not losing heart, yet it seems Susato is the one who is reassured. She gives a nod, and just like that, she appears convinced. ]
That is a wonderful idea. Thank you.
[ What she will write, she can decide on her own time. She is already trying to think of what else she can offer at the same time, though that is something she can ultimately decide on her own, too. For now, she will simply spend time with Beatrix in a place that Ori herself offered.
After a quiet walk, she can see the grove in the distance. The protective barrier around it distorts the area, like looking through glass, and when they walk through it, there is a familiar warmth. ]
[Wonderful ideas, that is, though it is highly unlikely Beatrix would ever describe them as such. That’s simply unlike her. If anything, she would consider them adequate. Perhaps a touch more sentimental than she should like for them to be. She’s not exactly a fan of those kinds of conversations to begin with.
Whatever would she do if people began to think that she was an individual good at comforting another? Eidolons forbid. People might start coming to her for such things.
They meander along. She sees the sights of the grove she has visited so often since Oriphi and Diluc’s departures and it feels like the ache in her heart grows with every step closer. It’s ridiculous, really. She’s thought the more she would go, the better she would feel. In a way, that’s happened, of course. In another way, she feels resentment. Regret. Mostly for herself. Maybe a little towards Oriphi, which is completely unfair, and yet entirely human.
As they step in, she looks over to Susato, dipping her chin, trying to bind and keep herself together.]
Was there a section you wanted to see in particular, or are you here to admire the roses I planted? I have no preference either way.
[ Her eyes automatically wander towards the large tree where the letters and baubles were originally left. As much as she has come to appreciate flowers now, she could not hope to know as much about them as Ori, or Aerith. So she really can't say she has a preference.
She can see the roses when Beatrix asks, however, and already, she is pulling out an unopened water bottle. It's not in a proper watering can, but hopefully it will do. ]
I would be happy just to admire your roses. I didn't get to see them before, but they rather stand out now.
Perhaps you would like to do the honours? [ She offers Beatrix the water bottle. ]
[Do they? In the grove surrounded by all of the other rather beautiful things that Oriphi left behind, Beatrix would think they look rather insignificant. Yet they are young roses. Roses come filled with potential, but are not necessarily impressive until they are at their most full grown. The pinnacle of success, some might say. Although others might counter with the idea that roses are infinitely lovely.
At the question, Beatrix shakes her head.]
No. By all means. I have watered them plenty of times since I planted them. It is important that they become familiar with others besides myself. I want them to be familiar with everyone.
[ When Beatrix gently refuses, she pulls her hand back, bottle included. She looks at it for a good, long moment before she twists the cap open. The sun continues to shine on the young roses, and as Susato slowly tips some water onto them, the wetness causes them to glisten.
She may be seen mumbling a silent prayer, but she doesn't want to drown them, so she'll stop before long, leaving about half a bottle. ]
[Beatrix looks... pleased by the way things turn out. She tends to say what she means and there's no lack of sincerity in how she phrases herself here. It is important that the flowers not only ever rely on her. There are plenty of others, she suspects, who will take refuge in the grove and care for the various flowers.]
You have worked with plants before, I take it. You seem to know what you are doing, after all. There are some here I have had to explain not to over-water.
[ She recaps the bottle with a smile as she turns to look at the General once more. ]
My father and I learned together after he built the greenhouse for the Dawn flowers. I've read a lot about them. At least the ones that we've managed to plant there.
[ Since he woke, however, Susato hasn't really gone out of her way to add anything new. ]
I am hardly an expert, but it pleases me to see them flourish.
no subject
...It's difficult.
[ She admits, speaking softly. ]
But focusing on the task has kept me from losing heart myself, so I suppose she got her wish, in a way. [ That's deserving of a smile, isn't it? Susato tries, at any rate. See, Ori...?
She can do this. ]
no subject
'Difficult' is a good way to put it. It certainly feels like a monumental task. Hard to work through. Hard to understand. Hard to piece together. Hard to work through. Hard, when one may be afraid that they may not meet those expectations. Oriphi may not be here in the flesh any longer, but it certainly feels as if she is.
Perhaps that is merely the weight of expectation.]
That is an interesting way to put it. Not that I feel Oriphi was cunning enough to plan it that way. It is likely an unintended side effect. Yet an effective one all the same. I suppose that may hold true for many of us and the requests that she made of us.
no subject
She bites at her lip, feeling like Beatrix has opened a door with the mention of those requests. ]
May I ask what she requested of you?
no subject
She asked that I protect the rest of you. I think... she always wanted to learn better how to protect us. Not that she could not already. I think she just wanted to improve. You know, she asked me before she left to train her with my sword, so I made her a replica of it and we practised together.
[Beatrix settles on that for some moments, shaking her head.]
I always thought she was too delicate to wield such a thing. I underestimated her a lot. As I do with most of the people here.
no subject
It is as fervent a wish for Susato as it had been for Ori. It must have been, otherwise her charms would never work. Thinking about it, she feels a dull ache in her arm; remnants of a scar that appeared after her nightmare the month previous. ]
Even if it was short-lived, I am glad you got to train together. There was still a lot I didn't know about her that I would have liked to learn... Many days, it feels we have all the time in the world here.
But the truth is that time is a fickle thing.
no subject
Just because it's true. Just because it is, for the circumstance, the right thing to say. Doesn't mean she should say it.
Beatrix may not outwardly hesitate, but her insides turn and twist. She knows it, of course. She has thought it many a time since she's been here. Maybe the reason it's so hard for her to handle is because it took a damn year for it to occur. That's a year of learning about someone. A year of doing things with them. A year of sharing one's self with another, even in a strange and somewhat roundabout way.
A year is a long time. Come to think of it, before coming here, Beatrix realises that a year has never felt as long.]
That it certainly is. [She finds herself agreeing quietly.] I suspect we have all thought it before, but in the face of such discoveries, it is important to remind ourselves to covet the time we have here with those whilst we can. It would be better to assume that the day we are aware of could very well be our last.
[After all, there is no guarantee that Eustace's plan will work, as much as Beatrix craves and desires that so.]
no subject
A year is a long time. ]
You may be right. But...I don't know that I could live that way.
[ ...There's a pause. She does not mean to be contradictory, so she clarifies, ]
Well... I think I cling too much to routine, at least. I take comfort in what I am used to. But life in Reverein has taught me to be a little spontaneous, if nothing else.
no subject
She'd love to say she's grown an appreciation for the spontaneous, but that would be false.]
I think it is probable that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own way of handling such a thing. We need not all be alike in such respects.
[Or in any. She has come to rather appreciate their differences.]
no subject
Susato remains respectfully quiet, simply following without truly knowing their destination. ]
We can use our differences to keep learning from one another. Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful.
no subject
It hurts to do so, but Beatrix is capable of smiling just a touch as she replays those words back to herself. Looking sidelong to her companion, who is, in many ways, akin to what it must be like to have a younger sibling, Beatrix seems respectfully thoughtful.]
That is quite the poetic way to put it. I do believe I am inclined to agree. Wildflowers of a kind. All different. All varied. Each with its purpose. Each with its meaning. Although I must confess that I do not know much about flowers, really. I should think Oriphi would be in vast support of such sentiments.
[Loosing a breath, she seems to release some of the tension with it.]
As would the others. I could not have put it more better myself, though speaking never has been my forte. Better to leave such things to those with more amicability and personable demeanours.
no subject
For what it is worth, I think you are doing just fine.
[ There is a pause. After thinking about it for a moment longer, Susato lifts a hand and places on Beatrix's shoulder in a supportive gesture. ]
How would like to visit her grove with me today? [ No speaking required. ]
no subject
She chooses not to protest. Susato will see things as she sees them and there is value in that understanding.
Her proposal is... bittersweet. Or maybe that's just the natural state of Beatrix, all things considered. She peers sidelong to Susato with some thought and after a moment, a beat, a breath, she nods.]
A fine idea. I imagine I could afford to spend more time there. Perhaps we will find ourselves strengthened in spirit and resilience.
no subject
[ At least, in spirit. And yes... had Beatrix chosen to call her out, she wouldn't have been able to argue. She is quite biased. ]
The last time I visited was with Beat...
no subject
She nods slowly.]
I imagine we have all gone to visit multiple times since we discovered that she was gone. But to not go would be a disservice to her person. And to her memory. We are all tied together, after all.
no subject
It was you who planted the roses, correct?
...I should do something special for them as well. [ But what? ]
no subject
Instead of trying to deny it or otherwise pretend that such a thing doesn’t exist, she simply says nothing at first. Eventually, her expression softens and she nods.]
That is the way of it. [She admits with a relative degree of ease.] I thought it would be an appropriate way to tie myself to the two of them. They will not know it, of course, so I imagine I did it more for myself. I expect that eventually all of us will do something akin to that. If we care to.
[After a breath, Beatrix continues.]
Again, we all cope in our own ways. You should do as your heart beckons you to, Susato.
no subject
... ]
Perhaps... I could respond to the letter.
[ Maybe one day, she'll be back to respond to it? ]
no subject
[It’s not as though they’ve ever been able to ask anyone. There’s nothing saying they can’t or won’t. Perhaps it would sound a bit optimistic coming from someone like Beatrix, but she seems willing to invest in such an idea.
It’s certainly more palatable as opposed to coming to terms with all of that time wasted and for naught.]
You could even leave it in the grove. That, to me, seems like where it would belong.
no subject
The idea is a comforting one. Susato is supposed to be the one comforting Beatrix, and making sure she does not losing heart, yet it seems Susato is the one who is reassured. She gives a nod, and just like that, she appears convinced. ]
That is a wonderful idea. Thank you.
[ What she will write, she can decide on her own time. She is already trying to think of what else she can offer at the same time, though that is something she can ultimately decide on her own, too. For now, she will simply spend time with Beatrix in a place that Ori herself offered.
After a quiet walk, she can see the grove in the distance. The protective barrier around it distorts the area, like looking through glass, and when they walk through it, there is a familiar warmth. ]
no subject
[Wonderful ideas, that is, though it is highly unlikely Beatrix would ever describe them as such. That’s simply unlike her. If anything, she would consider them adequate. Perhaps a touch more sentimental than she should like for them to be. She’s not exactly a fan of those kinds of conversations to begin with.
Whatever would she do if people began to think that she was an individual good at comforting another? Eidolons forbid. People might start coming to her for such things.
They meander along. She sees the sights of the grove she has visited so often since Oriphi and Diluc’s departures and it feels like the ache in her heart grows with every step closer. It’s ridiculous, really. She’s thought the more she would go, the better she would feel. In a way, that’s happened, of course. In another way, she feels resentment. Regret. Mostly for herself. Maybe a little towards Oriphi, which is completely unfair, and yet entirely human.
As they step in, she looks over to Susato, dipping her chin, trying to bind and keep herself together.]
Was there a section you wanted to see in particular, or are you here to admire the roses I planted? I have no preference either way.
no subject
She can see the roses when Beatrix asks, however, and already, she is pulling out an unopened water bottle. It's not in a proper watering can, but hopefully it will do. ]
I would be happy just to admire your roses. I didn't get to see them before, but they rather stand out now.
Perhaps you would like to do the honours? [ She offers Beatrix the water bottle. ]
no subject
At the question, Beatrix shakes her head.]
No. By all means. I have watered them plenty of times since I planted them. It is important that they become familiar with others besides myself. I want them to be familiar with everyone.
no subject
[ When Beatrix gently refuses, she pulls her hand back, bottle included. She looks at it for a good, long moment before she twists the cap open. The sun continues to shine on the young roses, and as Susato slowly tips some water onto them, the wetness causes them to glisten.
She may be seen mumbling a silent prayer, but she doesn't want to drown them, so she'll stop before long, leaving about half a bottle. ]
no subject
You have worked with plants before, I take it. You seem to know what you are doing, after all. There are some here I have had to explain not to over-water.
no subject
My father and I learned together after he built the greenhouse for the Dawn flowers. I've read a lot about them. At least the ones that we've managed to plant there.
[ Since he woke, however, Susato hasn't really gone out of her way to add anything new. ]
I am hardly an expert, but it pleases me to see them flourish.
(no subject)
(no subject)