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Susato Mikotoba 🌸 御琴羽 寿沙都 ([personal profile] judicialassistant) wrote2021-11-06 07:36 pm
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choose your own adventure.

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roseofmay: (pic#15193118)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-02-17 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[Beatrix doesn't make her wait long. Her little abode is almost constantly overgrown with roses, which seems to continue indicating just how closed off Beatrix oft feels about herself as a person and her relationship with others. Boco, the yellow-plumed chocobo that once belonged to Zidane, occasionally enjoys pruning them (which is just a meal for him), and whether he notices Susato or not, he doesn't bother her.

When she answers her door, she's pulling a brush through the ends of her hair with some care.

Dohalim never really seems to leave a noticeable trace of himself behind, though he certainly spends enough time at her place to have an impression made. Or maybe that's all emotional marking rather than physical. It certainly feels like he is making his own little place there.]


Give me a few more moments, if you would. [She begins with some care.] Can I get you anything?

[A strange thing for her to ask, considering she was the one who was sleeping for a month. Just like Beatrix, though. Always focused on everyone else. So rarely outwardly focused on herself.]
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-02-20 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
[At Susato's question, Beatrix turns to give her entryway another look with some deep consideration. Her treehouse interior is comfortable. Luxurious, even, which comes as no surprise when one considers she came from a castle of all things. For all Beatrix tries to separate herself from the noble class, she has certainly spent at least ten years benefiting from that higher station of life.

Looking back to Susato, she looses a sigh, finishing with her hair before setting down her brush.]


It seems like it for the most part? It is a bit tidier, which I suppose would happen with Dohalim here. Possibly. Or anyone else who came in whilst I was in slumber. I think some of my things were moved. I cannot tell if there is anything missing or added yet. I do not think so...? I will have to take a clearer inventory later.

[That's right. She sure does take a regular inventory after what happened the first time she wound up sleeping.]
roseofmay: (pic#14889506)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-02-22 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[The very mention of the name makes the pause that Beatrix falls into feel and appear quite transparent.

Yes. Of course she knows. She knows far more than she wishes she did. In fact, she wishes she'd never gotten Oriphi's letter. She wishes she could pretend it never existed, that she hasn't read it countless times prior to her slumber. That it hasn't touched her in the way that it has.

Clearing her throat, Beatrix lifts her hands to haughtily flick her hair back, as if that somehow might piece whatever's remaining of her dignity back together.]


I am aware of the one that was left for me. I heard that Beat also got one. It would seem she left letters for all of us.

[And the thought of that makes Beatrix ache all over again, the familiar tightness of her chest returning.]
roseofmay: (pic#15051193)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-02-23 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Oriphi enters a conversation and it's almost surprising in self-reflection how abruptly Beatrix wants to shut it down. She doesn't, of course. She can't forget the contents of her own letter. The expectations that Oriphi placed upon her, even in the face of Beatrix's uncertainties.

When she hears what Susato has to say, Beatrix looks over to her and simply settles on the words with some consideration. Of course.

"She has tasked me with making sure that no one loses heart."

Is that the real reason Susato is here? Isn't that a good reason? She feels like she'll be crushed by the unbearable weight of reality. Drawing in a breath, she holds onto it, keeping herself together. Measured. Moving towards her doorway, she gestures for Susato to come with.]


I see. [She begins, still trying to figure out how to put everything.] You would be a good person for that. How are you finding your charge? Appropriate?
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-02-26 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
[She waits patiently, letting Susato go first and only when she has does Beatrix shut the door to her treehouse.

'Difficult' is a good way to put it. It certainly feels like a monumental task. Hard to work through. Hard to understand. Hard to piece together. Hard to work through. Hard, when one may be afraid that they may not meet those expectations. Oriphi may not be here in the flesh any longer, but it certainly feels as if she is.

Perhaps that is merely the weight of expectation.]


That is an interesting way to put it. Not that I feel Oriphi was cunning enough to plan it that way. It is likely an unintended side effect. Yet an effective one all the same. I suppose that may hold true for many of us and the requests that she made of us.
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-02 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Beatrix doesn't respond immediately, though it doesn't seem because she has no intention to do so. On the contrary, she's simply thinking about how she wants to reply. In the end, she decides that simple and straight forward is the best way to address it, regardless of her feelings on the matter.]

She asked that I protect the rest of you. I think... she always wanted to learn better how to protect us. Not that she could not already. I think she just wanted to improve. You know, she asked me before she left to train her with my sword, so I made her a replica of it and we practised together.

[Beatrix settles on that for some moments, shaking her head.]

I always thought she was too delicate to wield such a thing. I underestimated her a lot. As I do with most of the people here.
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-04 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
["But the truth is that time is a fickle thing."

Just because it's true. Just because it is, for the circumstance, the right thing to say. Doesn't mean she should say it.

Beatrix may not outwardly hesitate, but her insides turn and twist. She knows it, of course. She has thought it many a time since she's been here. Maybe the reason it's so hard for her to handle is because it took a damn year for it to occur. That's a year of learning about someone. A year of doing things with them. A year of sharing one's self with another, even in a strange and somewhat roundabout way.

A year is a long time. Come to think of it, before coming here, Beatrix realises that a year has never felt as long.]


That it certainly is. [She finds herself agreeing quietly.] I suspect we have all thought it before, but in the face of such discoveries, it is important to remind ourselves to covet the time we have here with those whilst we can. It would be better to assume that the day we are aware of could very well be our last.

[After all, there is no guarantee that Eustace's plan will work, as much as Beatrix craves and desires that so.]
roseofmay: (pic#14889509)

[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-11 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Beatrix nods slowly. Not because she agrees. She doesn't. She is more likely to have agreed with the Susato from original world. She has disliked very much not having a routine. Despite trying to create one for herself here, it just hasn't been the same. Doesn't feel the same. Still leaves her feeling like she's not quite comfortable. Like she never will be comfortable.

She'd love to say she's grown an appreciation for the spontaneous, but that would be false.]


I think it is probable that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own way of handling such a thing. We need not all be alike in such respects.

[Or in any. She has come to rather appreciate their differences.]
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-18 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
["Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful."

It hurts to do so, but Beatrix is capable of smiling just a touch as she replays those words back to herself. Looking sidelong to her companion, who is, in many ways, akin to what it must be like to have a younger sibling, Beatrix seems respectfully thoughtful.]


That is quite the poetic way to put it. I do believe I am inclined to agree. Wildflowers of a kind. All different. All varied. Each with its purpose. Each with its meaning. Although I must confess that I do not know much about flowers, really. I should think Oriphi would be in vast support of such sentiments.

[Loosing a breath, she seems to release some of the tension with it.]

As would the others. I could not have put it more better myself, though speaking never has been my forte. Better to leave such things to those with more amicability and personable demeanours.
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-19 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[Beatrix cannot help thinking that Susato may be a touch biased. Such is the way with friends, is it not? It is not that those close to her may be blind to her faults, but perhaps more gentle and accepting of them because they know her better. Or rather, they know the Beatrix that lingers under her often prickly exterior.

She chooses not to protest. Susato will see things as she sees them and there is value in that understanding.

Her proposal is... bittersweet. Or maybe that's just the natural state of Beatrix, all things considered. She peers sidelong to Susato with some thought and after a moment, a beat, a breath, she nods.]


A fine idea. I imagine I could afford to spend more time there. Perhaps we will find ourselves strengthened in spirit and resilience.
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-23 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
[An interesting observation. Does one feel that less because they are healing? What does that say about Beatrix, who doesn't feel as if she's really healed much, if at all? She will likely stew in those thoughts longer than she ought to. Yet that is hardly any different than she has ever been.

She nods slowly.]


I imagine we have all gone to visit multiple times since we discovered that she was gone. But to not go would be a disservice to her person. And to her memory. We are all tied together, after all.
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[personal profile] roseofmay 2023-03-25 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Was it so obvious? Perhaps so. Seems like just about anything to do with a rose would have something to do with her, after all. Beatrix can’t even be completely surprised that Susato is so sharp as to come to that conclusion.

Instead of trying to deny it or otherwise pretend that such a thing doesn’t exist, she simply says nothing at first. Eventually, her expression softens and she nods.]


That is the way of it. [She admits with a relative degree of ease.] I thought it would be an appropriate way to tie myself to the two of them. They will not know it, of course, so I imagine I did it more for myself. I expect that eventually all of us will do something akin to that. If we care to.

[After a breath, Beatrix continues.]

Again, we all cope in our own ways. You should do as your heart beckons you to, Susato.

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