[Beatrix doesn't make her wait long. Her little abode is almost constantly overgrown with roses, which seems to continue indicating just how closed off Beatrix oft feels about herself as a person and her relationship with others. Boco, the yellow-plumed chocobo that once belonged to Zidane, occasionally enjoys pruning them (which is just a meal for him), and whether he notices Susato or not, he doesn't bother her.
When she answers her door, she's pulling a brush through the ends of her hair with some care.
Dohalim never really seems to leave a noticeable trace of himself behind, though he certainly spends enough time at her place to have an impression made. Or maybe that's all emotional marking rather than physical. It certainly feels like he is making his own little place there.]
Give me a few more moments, if you would. [She begins with some care.] Can I get you anything?
[A strange thing for her to ask, considering she was the one who was sleeping for a month. Just like Beatrix, though. Always focused on everyone else. So rarely outwardly focused on herself.]
[ Susato is not certain what to expect when Beatrix answers the door, but it is not so surprising that she is not quite ready yet. Her own hair has given her fair of trouble in the mornings, after all, so she smiles politely and walks in with a light shake of her head. ]
No, that's alright.
[ Of course not, though she understands the want to be a good host. ]
[At Susato's question, Beatrix turns to give her entryway another look with some deep consideration. Her treehouse interior is comfortable. Luxurious, even, which comes as no surprise when one considers she came from a castle of all things. For all Beatrix tries to separate herself from the noble class, she has certainly spent at least ten years benefiting from that higher station of life.
Looking back to Susato, she looses a sigh, finishing with her hair before setting down her brush.]
It seems like it for the most part? It is a bit tidier, which I suppose would happen with Dohalim here. Possibly. Or anyone else who came in whilst I was in slumber. I think some of my things were moved. I cannot tell if there is anything missing or added yet. I do not think so...? I will have to take a clearer inventory later.
[That's right. She sure does take a regular inventory after what happened the first time she wound up sleeping.]
[ When Beatrix starts to look around, so does Susato. It certainly does seem more luxurious than she is used to, but she thinks nothing of it. Dohalim seems to have done an excellent job of keeping it tidy, as she presumes Beatrix likes it. ]
Please let me know if I can help. For now... um...
[ She doesn't really know if there's a nice way to breach the subject, so she'll just kind of... do it. ]
Have you already seen Ori's letter? [ Does she know? Has she been to the grove? Let's just say Susato has not yet seen Beatrix's open message yet, if it has happened. ]
[The very mention of the name makes the pause that Beatrix falls into feel and appear quite transparent.
Yes. Of course she knows. She knows far more than she wishes she did. In fact, she wishes she'd never gotten Oriphi's letter. She wishes she could pretend it never existed, that she hasn't read it countless times prior to her slumber. That it hasn't touched her in the way that it has.
Clearing her throat, Beatrix lifts her hands to haughtily flick her hair back, as if that somehow might piece whatever's remaining of her dignity back together.]
I am aware of the one that was left for me. I heard that Beat also got one. It would seem she left letters for all of us.
[And the thought of that makes Beatrix ache all over again, the familiar tightness of her chest returning.]
[ Susato can practically feel the temperature drop, though the woman remains ever civil. All that tells Susato all she needs to know, and after a deep breath, she lets out a sigh that comes out a little shaky. ]
Yes, it would seem so. [ Susato included. ] My apologies, I didn't know if...
[Oriphi enters a conversation and it's almost surprising in self-reflection how abruptly Beatrix wants to shut it down. She doesn't, of course. She can't forget the contents of her own letter. The expectations that Oriphi placed upon her, even in the face of Beatrix's uncertainties.
When she hears what Susato has to say, Beatrix looks over to her and simply settles on the words with some consideration. Of course.
"She has tasked me with making sure that no one loses heart."
Is that the real reason Susato is here? Isn't that a good reason? She feels like she'll be crushed by the unbearable weight of reality. Drawing in a breath, she holds onto it, keeping herself together. Measured. Moving towards her doorway, she gestures for Susato to come with.]
I see. [She begins, still trying to figure out how to put everything.] You would be a good person for that. How are you finding your charge? Appropriate?
[ Taking one last look around, Susato follows Beatrix when she gestures, like an obedient assistant. It's not the only reason she's here; she is also here for Beatrix's sake, though she wonders for a moment if the General took that poorly. ]
...It's difficult.
[ She admits, speaking softly. ]
But focusing on the task has kept me from losing heart myself, so I suppose she got her wish, in a way. [ That's deserving of a smile, isn't it? Susato tries, at any rate. See, Ori...?
[She waits patiently, letting Susato go first and only when she has does Beatrix shut the door to her treehouse.
'Difficult' is a good way to put it. It certainly feels like a monumental task. Hard to work through. Hard to understand. Hard to piece together. Hard to work through. Hard, when one may be afraid that they may not meet those expectations. Oriphi may not be here in the flesh any longer, but it certainly feels as if she is.
Perhaps that is merely the weight of expectation.]
That is an interesting way to put it. Not that I feel Oriphi was cunning enough to plan it that way. It is likely an unintended side effect. Yet an effective one all the same. I suppose that may hold true for many of us and the requests that she made of us.
[ Susato gives a quiet nod as they walk, and goes out of her way to remain behind Beatrix. It is humbling to realize the same could happen to any one of them at any moment. Such is why Eustace's quest to stay here permanently is so important to many, though Susato herself is still unable to abandon her homeland completely.
She bites at her lip, feeling like Beatrix has opened a door with the mention of those requests. ]
[Beatrix doesn't respond immediately, though it doesn't seem because she has no intention to do so. On the contrary, she's simply thinking about how she wants to reply. In the end, she decides that simple and straight forward is the best way to address it, regardless of her feelings on the matter.]
She asked that I protect the rest of you. I think... she always wanted to learn better how to protect us. Not that she could not already. I think she just wanted to improve. You know, she asked me before she left to train her with my sword, so I made her a replica of it and we practised together.
[Beatrix settles on that for some moments, shaking her head.]
I always thought she was too delicate to wield such a thing. I underestimated her a lot. As I do with most of the people here.
It is as fervent a wish for Susato as it had been for Ori. It must have been, otherwise her charms would never work. Thinking about it, she feels a dull ache in her arm; remnants of a scar that appeared after her nightmare the month previous. ]
Even if it was short-lived, I am glad you got to train together. There was still a lot I didn't know about her that I would have liked to learn... Many days, it feels we have all the time in the world here.
Just because it's true. Just because it is, for the circumstance, the right thing to say. Doesn't mean she should say it.
Beatrix may not outwardly hesitate, but her insides turn and twist. She knows it, of course. She has thought it many a time since she's been here. Maybe the reason it's so hard for her to handle is because it took a damn year for it to occur. That's a year of learning about someone. A year of doing things with them. A year of sharing one's self with another, even in a strange and somewhat roundabout way.
A year is a long time. Come to think of it, before coming here, Beatrix realises that a year has never felt as long.]
That it certainly is. [She finds herself agreeing quietly.] I suspect we have all thought it before, but in the face of such discoveries, it is important to remind ourselves to covet the time we have here with those whilst we can. It would be better to assume that the day we are aware of could very well be our last.
[After all, there is no guarantee that Eustace's plan will work, as much as Beatrix craves and desires that so.]
[ Beatrix certainly does not give away much. Her expression is as icy and collected as ever, though by now, Susato is able to recognize some of the turbulence within.
A year is a long time. ]
You may be right. But...I don't know that I could live that way.
[ ...There's a pause. She does not mean to be contradictory, so she clarifies, ]
Well... I think I cling too much to routine, at least. I take comfort in what I am used to. But life in Reverein has taught me to be a little spontaneous, if nothing else.
[Beatrix nods slowly. Not because she agrees. She doesn't. She is more likely to have agreed with the Susato from original world. She has disliked very much not having a routine. Despite trying to create one for herself here, it just hasn't been the same. Doesn't feel the same. Still leaves her feeling like she's not quite comfortable. Like she never will be comfortable.
She'd love to say she's grown an appreciation for the spontaneous, but that would be false.]
I think it is probable that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own way of handling such a thing. We need not all be alike in such respects.
[Or in any. She has come to rather appreciate their differences.]
[ In her defense, she never said that this lesson in being spontaneous was a good thing. As someone younger, perhaps she can appreciate more than someone like Beatrix, who seems rather set in her ways already. Either way, she doesn't appear to fault the woman for it.
Susato remains respectfully quiet, simply following without truly knowing their destination. ]
We can use our differences to keep learning from one another. Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful.
["Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful."
It hurts to do so, but Beatrix is capable of smiling just a touch as she replays those words back to herself. Looking sidelong to her companion, who is, in many ways, akin to what it must be like to have a younger sibling, Beatrix seems respectfully thoughtful.]
That is quite the poetic way to put it. I do believe I am inclined to agree. Wildflowers of a kind. All different. All varied. Each with its purpose. Each with its meaning. Although I must confess that I do not know much about flowers, really. I should think Oriphi would be in vast support of such sentiments.
[Loosing a breath, she seems to release some of the tension with it.]
As would the others. I could not have put it more better myself, though speaking never has been my forte. Better to leave such things to those with more amicability and personable demeanours.
[ It is not as if Susato is well-versed in flowers either, but she's picked up on a few things. Perhaps it is just wishful thinking, but Susato can't help but feel like Ori would be proud of them both, and she has to hold onto that feeling during the times when she feels the tiefling's loss the most. ]
For what it is worth, I think you are doing just fine.
[ There is a pause. After thinking about it for a moment longer, Susato lifts a hand and places on Beatrix's shoulder in a supportive gesture. ]
How would like to visit her grove with me today? [ No speaking required. ]
[Beatrix cannot help thinking that Susato may be a touch biased. Such is the way with friends, is it not? It is not that those close to her may be blind to her faults, but perhaps more gentle and accepting of them because they know her better. Or rather, they know the Beatrix that lingers under her often prickly exterior.
She chooses not to protest. Susato will see things as she sees them and there is value in that understanding.
Her proposal is... bittersweet. Or maybe that's just the natural state of Beatrix, all things considered. She peers sidelong to Susato with some thought and after a moment, a beat, a breath, she nods.]
A fine idea. I imagine I could afford to spend more time there. Perhaps we will find ourselves strengthened in spirit and resilience.
[An interesting observation. Does one feel that less because they are healing? What does that say about Beatrix, who doesn't feel as if she's really healed much, if at all? She will likely stew in those thoughts longer than she ought to. Yet that is hardly any different than she has ever been.
She nods slowly.]
I imagine we have all gone to visit multiple times since we discovered that she was gone. But to not go would be a disservice to her person. And to her memory. We are all tied together, after all.
[ They are ever healing, but she thinks she feels less drawn to it because she received Ori's message. Her letter. She smiles at the thought, knowing that she would carry that message with her for the rest of her days. ]
It was you who planted the roses, correct?
...I should do something special for them as well. [ But what? ]
[Was it so obvious? Perhaps so. Seems like just about anything to do with a rose would have something to do with her, after all. Beatrix can’t even be completely surprised that Susato is so sharp as to come to that conclusion.
Instead of trying to deny it or otherwise pretend that such a thing doesn’t exist, she simply says nothing at first. Eventually, her expression softens and she nods.]
That is the way of it. [She admits with a relative degree of ease.] I thought it would be an appropriate way to tie myself to the two of them. They will not know it, of course, so I imagine I did it more for myself. I expect that eventually all of us will do something akin to that. If we care to.
[After a breath, Beatrix continues.]
Again, we all cope in our own ways. You should do as your heart beckons you to, Susato.
[ Susato looks thoughtful. It is not the first time she has been told to do as her heart beckons, of course, but it can be difficult to know exactly what that entails. An appropriate way to tie herself to them...
... ]
Perhaps... I could respond to the letter.
[ Maybe one day, she'll be back to respond to it? ]
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When she answers her door, she's pulling a brush through the ends of her hair with some care.
Dohalim never really seems to leave a noticeable trace of himself behind, though he certainly spends enough time at her place to have an impression made. Or maybe that's all emotional marking rather than physical. It certainly feels like he is making his own little place there.]
Give me a few more moments, if you would. [She begins with some care.] Can I get you anything?
[A strange thing for her to ask, considering she was the one who was sleeping for a month. Just like Beatrix, though. Always focused on everyone else. So rarely outwardly focused on herself.]
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No, that's alright.
[ Of course not, though she understands the want to be a good host. ]
Is everything as you remember it?
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Looking back to Susato, she looses a sigh, finishing with her hair before setting down her brush.]
It seems like it for the most part? It is a bit tidier, which I suppose would happen with Dohalim here. Possibly. Or anyone else who came in whilst I was in slumber. I think some of my things were moved. I cannot tell if there is anything missing or added yet. I do not think so...? I will have to take a clearer inventory later.
[That's right. She sure does take a regular inventory after what happened the first time she wound up sleeping.]
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Please let me know if I can help. For now... um...
[ She doesn't really know if there's a nice way to breach the subject, so she'll just kind of... do it. ]
Have you already seen Ori's letter? [ Does she know? Has she been to the grove? Let's just say Susato has not yet seen Beatrix's open message yet, if it has happened. ]
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Yes. Of course she knows. She knows far more than she wishes she did. In fact, she wishes she'd never gotten Oriphi's letter. She wishes she could pretend it never existed, that she hasn't read it countless times prior to her slumber. That it hasn't touched her in the way that it has.
Clearing her throat, Beatrix lifts her hands to haughtily flick her hair back, as if that somehow might piece whatever's remaining of her dignity back together.]
I am aware of the one that was left for me. I heard that Beat also got one. It would seem she left letters for all of us.
[And the thought of that makes Beatrix ache all over again, the familiar tightness of her chest returning.]
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Yes, it would seem so. [ Susato included. ] My apologies, I didn't know if...
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She has tasked me with making sure that no one loses heart.
[ So.......here she is. ]
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When she hears what Susato has to say, Beatrix looks over to her and simply settles on the words with some consideration. Of course.
"She has tasked me with making sure that no one loses heart."
Is that the real reason Susato is here? Isn't that a good reason? She feels like she'll be crushed by the unbearable weight of reality. Drawing in a breath, she holds onto it, keeping herself together. Measured. Moving towards her doorway, she gestures for Susato to come with.]
I see. [She begins, still trying to figure out how to put everything.] You would be a good person for that. How are you finding your charge? Appropriate?
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...It's difficult.
[ She admits, speaking softly. ]
But focusing on the task has kept me from losing heart myself, so I suppose she got her wish, in a way. [ That's deserving of a smile, isn't it? Susato tries, at any rate. See, Ori...?
She can do this. ]
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'Difficult' is a good way to put it. It certainly feels like a monumental task. Hard to work through. Hard to understand. Hard to piece together. Hard to work through. Hard, when one may be afraid that they may not meet those expectations. Oriphi may not be here in the flesh any longer, but it certainly feels as if she is.
Perhaps that is merely the weight of expectation.]
That is an interesting way to put it. Not that I feel Oriphi was cunning enough to plan it that way. It is likely an unintended side effect. Yet an effective one all the same. I suppose that may hold true for many of us and the requests that she made of us.
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She bites at her lip, feeling like Beatrix has opened a door with the mention of those requests. ]
May I ask what she requested of you?
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She asked that I protect the rest of you. I think... she always wanted to learn better how to protect us. Not that she could not already. I think she just wanted to improve. You know, she asked me before she left to train her with my sword, so I made her a replica of it and we practised together.
[Beatrix settles on that for some moments, shaking her head.]
I always thought she was too delicate to wield such a thing. I underestimated her a lot. As I do with most of the people here.
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It is as fervent a wish for Susato as it had been for Ori. It must have been, otherwise her charms would never work. Thinking about it, she feels a dull ache in her arm; remnants of a scar that appeared after her nightmare the month previous. ]
Even if it was short-lived, I am glad you got to train together. There was still a lot I didn't know about her that I would have liked to learn... Many days, it feels we have all the time in the world here.
But the truth is that time is a fickle thing.
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Just because it's true. Just because it is, for the circumstance, the right thing to say. Doesn't mean she should say it.
Beatrix may not outwardly hesitate, but her insides turn and twist. She knows it, of course. She has thought it many a time since she's been here. Maybe the reason it's so hard for her to handle is because it took a damn year for it to occur. That's a year of learning about someone. A year of doing things with them. A year of sharing one's self with another, even in a strange and somewhat roundabout way.
A year is a long time. Come to think of it, before coming here, Beatrix realises that a year has never felt as long.]
That it certainly is. [She finds herself agreeing quietly.] I suspect we have all thought it before, but in the face of such discoveries, it is important to remind ourselves to covet the time we have here with those whilst we can. It would be better to assume that the day we are aware of could very well be our last.
[After all, there is no guarantee that Eustace's plan will work, as much as Beatrix craves and desires that so.]
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A year is a long time. ]
You may be right. But...I don't know that I could live that way.
[ ...There's a pause. She does not mean to be contradictory, so she clarifies, ]
Well... I think I cling too much to routine, at least. I take comfort in what I am used to. But life in Reverein has taught me to be a little spontaneous, if nothing else.
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She'd love to say she's grown an appreciation for the spontaneous, but that would be false.]
I think it is probable that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own way of handling such a thing. We need not all be alike in such respects.
[Or in any. She has come to rather appreciate their differences.]
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Susato remains respectfully quiet, simply following without truly knowing their destination. ]
We can use our differences to keep learning from one another. Like wildflowers, blooming together. Different, but no less beautiful.
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It hurts to do so, but Beatrix is capable of smiling just a touch as she replays those words back to herself. Looking sidelong to her companion, who is, in many ways, akin to what it must be like to have a younger sibling, Beatrix seems respectfully thoughtful.]
That is quite the poetic way to put it. I do believe I am inclined to agree. Wildflowers of a kind. All different. All varied. Each with its purpose. Each with its meaning. Although I must confess that I do not know much about flowers, really. I should think Oriphi would be in vast support of such sentiments.
[Loosing a breath, she seems to release some of the tension with it.]
As would the others. I could not have put it more better myself, though speaking never has been my forte. Better to leave such things to those with more amicability and personable demeanours.
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For what it is worth, I think you are doing just fine.
[ There is a pause. After thinking about it for a moment longer, Susato lifts a hand and places on Beatrix's shoulder in a supportive gesture. ]
How would like to visit her grove with me today? [ No speaking required. ]
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She chooses not to protest. Susato will see things as she sees them and there is value in that understanding.
Her proposal is... bittersweet. Or maybe that's just the natural state of Beatrix, all things considered. She peers sidelong to Susato with some thought and after a moment, a beat, a breath, she nods.]
A fine idea. I imagine I could afford to spend more time there. Perhaps we will find ourselves strengthened in spirit and resilience.
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[ At least, in spirit. And yes... had Beatrix chosen to call her out, she wouldn't have been able to argue. She is quite biased. ]
The last time I visited was with Beat...
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She nods slowly.]
I imagine we have all gone to visit multiple times since we discovered that she was gone. But to not go would be a disservice to her person. And to her memory. We are all tied together, after all.
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It was you who planted the roses, correct?
...I should do something special for them as well. [ But what? ]
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Instead of trying to deny it or otherwise pretend that such a thing doesn’t exist, she simply says nothing at first. Eventually, her expression softens and she nods.]
That is the way of it. [She admits with a relative degree of ease.] I thought it would be an appropriate way to tie myself to the two of them. They will not know it, of course, so I imagine I did it more for myself. I expect that eventually all of us will do something akin to that. If we care to.
[After a breath, Beatrix continues.]
Again, we all cope in our own ways. You should do as your heart beckons you to, Susato.
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... ]
Perhaps... I could respond to the letter.
[ Maybe one day, she'll be back to respond to it? ]
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